Thursday, July 15, 2010

How do you know?

.....that you are making the right decision? What do you base your decision making on? Yes...I'm having second thoughts...about the job. I was fine and happy about my decision until Joe was leaving for work last night and I was kissing him goodbye and I always tear up when he leaves because I miss him so much (you would think that after 30 years of being together that I would be kicking him out the door instead right?)..and Joe said, "we have to enjoy this week because you start your job next week and we won't see each other very much"....

That got me thinking. The job that I have now I have 100% flexibility...I work whenever I want. I am home ALOT...and I'm salaried so I don't even have to worry about how many hours I work. My boss lives 2 hours away and I hardly ever report in!

So what is there not to like?

I hate it.

I really hate the job.

So much that when my cell phone rings and I see its work related I get all tensed up.

So is it worth it for all the perks to put up with a job that you hate?

My new job will be working M-F 8:30am-5pm......ZERO flexibility + hourly wage.

But I think I will like the job.

I think.

Not sure...but I think.

So is it worth giving up all that just because you hate it?

The flexibility is the thing that bothers me the most.

I LOVE being home. I wish I could be a SAHM (stay at home mom) or even a WAHM (work at home mom)...but I can't...we need my paycheck.

I wish I could sell things on Etsy and make that my career!

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to regret leaving..but then if I pass up this opportunity I might regret that too.

So how do you know??


  1. OMG.. We are in the same situation Java! Read my post about the "Right Path?". I am also torn about a new job. The fexibilty I have now will most definitely be missed. Like you, I am not sure if I am making the right choice. Like you said...How DO you know? Good luck with you new job. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. :-)

  2. When I have a difficult decision to make, I always, always, always follow my heart. Take some time to sit and really contemplate what it is that you want. It's horrible to have a job that you hate. I've been there, and it makes life pretty miserable when you dread your job, but the benefit of flexibility is huge too. Can you take some time today to go off somewhere by yourself and really decide which position would be best for you? Maybe make a list of pros and cons? Is there any possibility that your "old" boss will let you come back to your job if you end up not liking your new job? Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know this is a really tough decision. :)

  3. The only way I can figure it out is by making a list of pros and cons... not just list the practical pros and cons but the list that contains the emotional side of it and most of all whether I am truly happy doing whatever it is that the list is about.. I believe that if u truly aren't happy in your job and are just getting the paycheck, eventually your feelings will reflect in your performance and others will be able to detect it.

  4. Oh my goodness! I chuckled when I saw that little cartoon with the toothbrush and the toilet paper! Don't know where you found that but it is so funny.

    It's so hard to know for sure when you're making a decision - sometimes you just have to take a risk and see where it leads. But it isn't easy taking those leaps of faith!

    I'll send up a prayer for you that you will have a sense of peace about what is the right direction for you!

  5. So hard to know what it is we want to do when we grow up. Haha. I'm still working on that one...

  6. Why should it be either or? Looks to me like neither one of them is really working out or you're not sure about. Take a deep breath and imagine what your perfect job would be like - having flex time but doing something that you sorta like. Sometimes just having that simple clarity opens up a universe of possibilities. Go slow here before you jump from the frying pan into the fire.


  7. What is your job now? and what will your new job be, can you tell us? Maybe you did and I missed the post.
    Just take things one day at a time.....

  8. In my view, yes it is worth giving it up because you hate it.
    Hate is a long emotion to live with day in day out.
    Changes are hard at this point, Java. For most of us.
    You think you'll like the job? Is there any way you can hate it as much as the one you have now?

    You and your husband will work around the new norm. You both will adjust.
    And in the end if it doesn't work for you, then you have the option to change your job.

    It's the fear of the unknown isn't it at times... it's tough. But I'm sure you've been through tougher, Java, and have come out on top.

    Not telling you what to do but just offering up my two cents (before taxes ) worth.

  9. How do I know? Pray! When I was told by my company that my request to work part-time or take unpaid leave for at least few months was rejected(so that I could breastfeed my newborn baby until he's at least 6 months old), I just quit.

    I love the job, the pay is high, I have a lot of good friends there but my priority is not on all those. I've got a new life in my hand and I want to breastfeed him! So, yes, I quit.

    How do I know I made the right choice? Lots of prayers and discussions with family. Weighing the pros and cons. It's been 1 year + now since I became a SAHM. No regrets!

    I wish you all the best Java! Trust your own instincts!

    ( I'm a full-time mummy )

  10. Good advice from all. You need to really step back and look at all the pros and cons. I am not sure if you will find the perfect situation because there are always trade-offs. PIck what is the most important thing and go from there. Good luck.

  11. I agree with Haupe, neither one sounds like it is ideal to you, so take it slow...meditate and pray on it...

  12. This sounds like a big decision, perhaps you need to figure out what you hate about your current job and change it. What do you hate about it, other then the calls? We can all work together to come up with a way of making it better, then you have the best of both worlds. I would love the flexibility to come and go when I please, you are lucky to have that so be careful with this big decision.

  13. I haven´t read the other comments. I´m just going to say what I feel, ok? I changed jobs a few years ago. I left a job I hated, like you. And the new job had a lot more stress, but I loved it. There is no pay cheque or any other perk, that can make a job "acceptable" if you hate it. So, if you really think you´ll like the new job, I think you should go for it. You will get used to the changes and just going to work, and loving it will be your reward!

  14. My own view is that when you spend so many hours a week working that whenever possible i.e. you are given the option you should choose a job that you like doing. I was very lucky in that in my 22 years working I only had one job for 2 years that I did not enjoy, but oh boy that one job, the people, the business unit, everything about it I just hated and I was miserable. Then thankfully a move back to Ireland came up so I went and life turned around completely as I was in love with my job, the people, just everything. Pay is important I know, but happiness is more important so if the new job pays enough even if it is less but you think you will like it then go grab it is what I say and you know, most jobs over time are more flexible than you think and if you are good at it you will find you are able to manage the hours a little more around what suits you.

  15. You DON'T know. There are very few certainties in life. You have to follow your faith and trust that everything will work out. It might be that after three weeks of the new job you're introduced to somebody who is looking for your skill set and is willing to offer you the flexibility and salary that would make you comfortable. Your job might end up being perfect in spite of the time away from home. You might find that you've been so stressed about the crap job with great hours that it really ended up taking more away from your life and relationships than a 9-5 job.

    To answer the bigger question, should you stay at a job that makes you miserable, one that causes physical illness? Absolutely not. That is the universe telling you to get OUT. Many people ignore that sick feeling, suck it up and stay miserable when happiness was literally pounding on their front door.


    You'll be okay.

  16. You just know when you know. Like meeting that special person. You can make all the list you want, but it is just a feeling.

  17. One never really knows if we're making the right decision at the time. All you can really go on is how you feel right now.

    If you're truly ambivalent you might want to sit down and make a list of the pros and cons.

    Sometimes it helps to have things in front of you.

    I used to think that being unhappy was a necessity. Especially if the side effects were good (i.e. lot's of money, flexibility etc..), however my views have changed. I now believe it's important to feel happy in what you do. Stress, frayed nerves and that feeling of dread simply isn't worth the bits that are positive.

    Just my opinion of course.

    Wishing you luck, joy and prosperity!


  18. My only response to you is listen to you heart. That is all. You will find the answer there
    Namaste and peace

  19. Well, life is too short to do something you I think your heart already made your decision. I hope it works out for you...the flexibility may be hard to get used to at first...but doing something you like...priceless!


    PS-Grabbed your button!

  20. if you really hate your current job unless there is some satisfaction you will remain unhappy. i agree with everyone list pros and cons. if you still pursue the job talk with your husband about the issue of missing the contact. maybe you could plan a date night. i also, know that change is frightening. we tend to be comfortable with what we know. taking a step outside our current realm is important. best wishes

  21. To tense up every time the phone rings from your old job is just not acceptable! Yuck! You may end up really enjoying the people at this new job, I say give it a try for a time and re-evaluate after a few months.
    I hope it becomes clear for you Hun!

  22. Love this blog!! Have you ever really tried working from home? I am doing direct sales and love it.. Love not having to punch a time clock, setting my own hours and paying myself instead of someone paying me... Keep up the great work on the blog.

  23. I understand.

    I just turned 44 and I thought by this age I could "listen to that little voice" and that was the right thing to do. But what makes that tricky is that, by this age, I've had experiences of listening to that "little voice" and it was wrong!!! Ah life lessons.

    I feel you know what you should do. Create a new chapter in your life.

  24. I hope you figure out the right thing to do! I would say that if you have already stopped working your old job, to go ahead and take this one in the meantime, see how it goes and if you're unhappy, start looking around again. But if you are still working at your old job, I'm not so sure. I would say evaluate how many resumes you have sent out and applications you have submitted and compare that to the amount of responses you have received... see if you feel secure enough in letting this one go and going on to another one.

    That said, you also have to keep in mind that a flexible schedule is a RARE find, and you may never find something similar. But you might... I dunno. I hope one of us helps you!


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