Speaking of being sick....not only was I sick, but I had my period as well....a week early.. nice..... How fun is that? And not only that, but I go to get out a Tampon when I realize the box is empty....that's what I get for not getting a box when there's a couple left....
I have to have some somewhere!!!
So look under the sink searching....why do I have so many bottles of shampoo...enough to wash 100 heads and no tampons???
There has got to be some here!
There.....
Half smashed from the economy sized Mr. Bubbles that they boys don't use anymore..
Okay....need to clean out under the sink...on the check list....
I grab it quickly as I'm getting lightheaded from bending over and not feeling good and trying to squeeze my legs together...
I was almost giddy because I had a spare box....
I said almost...
Cause how giddy can one be when they are sick with the flu...AND have their period...
So I waddle back to the toilet and sit down and eagerly rip open the box....
I try and focus on the box....
They do kinda look a little.....ummm....old...
OMG.....
They are old....
CARDBOARD applicator tampons????
I'd rather wad up some toilet paper and stick it in my underwear then use these!
Especially the old ones....you know...without the "groves"......
They hurt...
No more explanation needed...
You know what I'm talking about...
So I sit there for a couple more minutes...feeling like I really needed to lie down...
Pondering my decision...
I needed to decide quickly before I fall off the toilet and Joe comes in and finds me laying there looking like I was in a crime scene...
So I go for it...
Not a pretty scene...
Its been two days now and I haven't gotten to go to the store yet....
And I swear for every tampon I take out of that box....two more are added...
Joe does the grocery shopping during the week because he works nights and is home during the day....
I am sending him to the store tomorrow for PLASTIC tampons...
Cause he would do that for me....
Mostly because then he won't have to listen to me complain about them anymore....
And the other 20+ that are left in the box...anyone want them???
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry you were sick but that was a hilarious post! I agree, having your period while you're already feeling like poop is adding insult to injury...blech!!! I just cleaned under my sink after Xmas and ran across several bottles of half used shampoo also:)
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better and thank you for making me laugh out loud at 5:22 a.m.!!!
Child please! If I NEVER see another Tampon IN MY LIFE it will be too soon! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh my! Sorry for your predicament, but that was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI think shampoo bottles breed under sinks and as for cardboard tampon applicators - yeurgh!I hope you feel better soon and thank heavens for a sensible man - I hate to think what husband would come home with if I sent him to buy tampons!
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggles.
I am still laughing after reading your post! Thankfully, it has been 27 years since I had to worry about tampons.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are feeling better, stay well.
Shawn
hahahaa....you make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteBloody hell. What a dilemma! If it's any consolation, you couldn't really have done much different in the circumstances. I'll have the old cardboard tampons if you don't want 'em. I am always on the look-out to save money! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOkay I am still laughing.. Good post.
ReplyDeletewhy is it that we always get our periods when we are sick. it is almost inevitable that i will have a cold or something wrong with me. perhaps it is the weakened immune system due to a lack of blood. i'm not sure.
ReplyDeletewhen you ask paper or plastic, i say, "neither". i've switched to using o.b. which don't have an applicator, they are far more comfortable to wear, and i have never had a leak with them. i also don't feel so bad about monthly usage of plastic that goes into a landfill.
LOL - great post! And it makes me glad I'm 55!
ReplyDeletehttp://RaisingFigureSkaters.com
I am still laughing!! Love the picture of the smiley face tampon! I keep counting the days until I will no longer need them!!! Certainly that day will be here soon....my own story is that I have used OB tampons from day one. Have never used anything else. Couldn't find them when we lived in Australia so I had my sister ship me a ton ....what do you think the customs folks thought when on the label it said Tampons??? I am sure they thought the recipient was nuts.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better---thanks for the laughs!
Plastic. Definitely.
ReplyDeleteSo funny! I can't even comment though since I haven't had a period in two years and don't even keep a tampon in the house anymore. My boy's gf's know that I can never help them out!
ReplyDeleteDesperate times mean desperate measures!! Having said that I prefer cardboard if I need them (I have a coil that generally stops periods :) so I can't complain) I havent heard of OB tampons, how are these different, my mind is racing!
ReplyDeleteLove your post Java, can you imagine a man writing a post so open and honest (my OH often looks at me when I read something out and says 'someone put that on their blog?' )
Glad you are feeling better x
You are hysterically funny! I know it wasn't funny at the time it was happening to you, but I've got to say I love the way you express yourself!!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the old tampons, BURN them at the stake!!!
Oooh I'd take the cardboard over plastic any day - I don't like the plastic ones ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better.