Tuesday, December 14, 2010

What's Wrong With Our House?

Venti and Mocha have been coming home almost every weekend.  They have to bring their new puppy home and so they have been staying at Mocha's sister's house because she got a puppy out of the same litter.

Venti took Short to his basketball game on Saturday because I had to work and Joe was sleeping (he works nights)....he took Short to the game, came in and picked up his mail and out the door he went.  I didn't get to see him....neither did Joe.  I asked Short if Venti said anything about stopping back over and Short said that yes, Venti said they would come by either later that night or Sunday.

Saturday came and went.

Sunday came and went.

No Venti.

No call....no nothing!


Sunday night Venti calls.  They were already back home!

They never stopped by!

I asked him why and he said, "oh...ummm...well we went to the grocery store and stuff".....

I said, "I bet you saw Mocha's family didn't you?"


Hmmmmm....the longer they are married the less we see of him...and of her.

Is that how it is?  Do your kids not come around anymore after they get married?

They make time to see her parents...but not us...

The kicker is....

Her parents live less then 5 minutes from our house!!

I guess this quote really is true....

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life"



  1. Oh no! This is EXACTLY what I dread having sons. Daughters always stick around, call, and visit their mommas...but sons on the other hand. My boys are only 2, but I'm already dreading it.

  2. I'm sorry that Venti didn't stop by. Not that I feel it's right necessarily, but I believe it's pretty common when a young couple gets married, that they tend to spend more time with "her" side of the family than with his. I don't know why it is that way, but I see it all the time.

    It wasn't so much that way with my husband and me, but when I was growing up we were much closer to my mom's side than my dad's and it's still that way. Especially now that my folks are both gone. It wasn't a distance thing either. Both sides lived here in the same area for the most part.

    I'm sure that right now, Venti is trying to figure out how best to handle splitting their time. I'm sure he doesn't want his new bride to feel like he doesn't want to spend time with her family.

    You could let him know how you feel, but just be really careful how you approach it. If you make too big a deal about it, Mocha might take it the wrong way. I've seen it happen with relatives and their kids. Maybe in the next couple of weeks, you could ask them if there is a way you could all work out a plan to spend equal time with both families during the holidays and other special occasions.

    When our kids grow up and start a life with a "significant other", it's an adjustment period for everyone. It's hard to let go of the little boy or little girl that we still see every time we look at them. I'm sure with time, Venti will figure it all out.

    Take care and have a great Holiday Season.


  3. hmmmm... my son stays at his girlfriend's place when he works and comes home for a couple of days. She whines that she doesn't want him to leave. So this week he's not coming home at all. I can see where this is heading.

  4. this post made me cry :(.....I have 2 sons, one who now has a girlfriend...yea, mom no longer matters (well, at least NOT as much).
    I also have 3 daughters. I have trained them to not forget their future mother-in-laws! MOM's it's up to us to protect other moms. Teach your daughters to help their husbands stay in touch with their mom!

  5. I´ve heard that saying too, and thinking back to me and hubby, it is true. I hope it changes for you though, and your kids will make an effort to come home more often. Maybe you could tell your DIL how you feel?

  6. oh.. my friend ... they will come by .. and visit... don't give up!! xo HHL

  7. Based on what I've seen, unfortunately that phrase rings true....I'm dreading it too, and hoping that my daughter stays close as I can see my son drifting when in a relationship....

  8. That is so sad. I hope that it changes since your families are so close together. There is no reason for them not to see you both. How awful!!!

    I wrote a blog about that saying you quoted and was very worried about that happening.
    But my newly married son and his bride are moving to our CAlif. town from Texas two days after Christmas and we are so excited! Writer Son told me on the phone that they can't wait to have us in their home as a married couple. Haven't seen them since the wedding day in Oct!!

    So sorry for this bad instance, best not to complain too much though because being "that' mom is not a good thing either, right?
    Hopefully it was just a one time thing.

  10. You've been married long enough to know the old saying; "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

    Speaking as a married man, and one who was once a newlywed, he's keeping her happy. Think back on your own marriage. I think that as time goes on and they settle into their marriage, that things will even out.

    Chin up mom.

  11. Oh, I know how hard this is for you but try not to make an issue of it, just be happy when they do come to visit. Right now, they are establishing themselves as a married couple and girls always gravitate towards their family. I have two married sons and it is just the way it is and I know the boy's do not mean to be hurtful. When they call I put on the happy face and are always supportive of them and their families. I never, ever criticize.
    I can say anything to my daughters but it is different with my daughters -in-laws. Let me tell you, I have two wonderful daughters by marriage but it is a different relationship..I never offer advice but sit back, listen, smile, and love them.

  12. I'm really sorry!!

    Do you approve of the marriage? Do you disagree with how they run things?

    Or may-be that is just how her family is. If so, I am triple sorry!!

  13. Instead of making an "issue" of it, how about calling Mocha (and Venti... together, but you know, directed at your wonderful new DIL who needs to learn how to split time..) and ask her to come over on such and such day when they next come up to spend the day with you and have dinner, etc?

    I think when we have vauge plans like, "oh, we'll try to drop by" it's clear to the person saying that, that they may indeed try, but only if it's convenient for them, if they aren't too tired, and only if they feel like it... you know, they didn't have concrete plans to spend time with you. (I'm not articulating this well but I hope you can translate the babbling)

    So this time, make concrete plans, and in the future, ALWAYS make concrete plans for them to come. DOn't just expect them to come or show up on their own accord. From one couple to another... extend invitations for specific things. Invite mocha over to bake cookies next weekend. Having a standing invite for Sunday dinner. Make traditions and routines and try to work out the kinks now so it doesn't become a larger issue.

    But no matter what you choose to do, never ever let your self sit and stew! Or cry! You are the parent and even though they are married and out of the house, it's still your job to teach. So teach by example. :)

  14. I'm so sorry to hear this. The hemming and hawing definitely means something's up in my book. I'm actually going through something similar but with a best friend. Barely around any more because of his fiancee. I hope things straighten out with your son and he realizes he should make time with you again.

  15. I am so sorry to hear this! I think kids should split their time equally between both parents. We talk to our youngest daughter everyday and I know we see our grandson more than he sees his other grandma. But when the holidays come around it is split fairly. My daughters mother in law told me several weeks ago that Emily calls her too and I was very glad to hear this. I encourage her to always be friendly and nice to her mother in law...even when she does things I don't understand.

  16. My only son got married last year and they spend more time with her folks than us. I'm not happy about it, but what can you do? On the other hand, I love that my daughter wants to be with us and almost feel sorry for her MIL when they don't go over there much. Almost.


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