Never Growing Old: gender

All of our children were planned...well for the most part. We tried for 2 years before getting pregnant with Venti....we then planned for Grande and he was born 27 months later. A couple of years later and Venti was 5 and Grande was 3 we decided we needed more space because at the time we were living in a 3 bedroom townhouse. It just so happened that it was the same time the land that my Grandfather owned was just starting to be developed and new homes were going to be built. My Dad had just gotten his Real Estate license and so he became the developer/real estate agent for these homes. He graciously gave both my sisters and myself a lot so that we could each build a home and all live in the same neighborhood!

So the process of building a house became a priority and well in the middle of all of this I found I was pregnant again! We had planned on having another child after we moved into our new house! Well it looked like our house warming gift was going to be Tall! He was due the day we were to move in. As it turned out, he arrived 2 days prior. When we moved into our house, there were still alot of things that weren't finished..including the heat! We had to put his bassinet beside the oven and leave the oven door open!

As the years went by, the 3 boys all had each other and were each others playmates. When they were at the ages 10, 8 and 6 we thought about maybe having another baby. I researched everything I could find on "how to conceive a girl"...I pretty much knew when I would ovulate and so I read that having sex a couple of days before ovulation sometimes resulted in a girl. So we tried this....and tried...and tried....and a year later and we still weren't pregnant! By then the kids were 11, 9 and 7 and I was soon approaching 35.

We decided to go away for a night that day in July 1999. Just the 2 of us.

We were still trying the "girl" way and I knew I was close to ovulating.

So we had sex that night (I know...TMI...sorry)...

And that next morning Joe wanted to make the most of having a night away, but I knew that I would probably be ovulating that day and I said, "no..we can't...we will have a boy"...

I wanted a daughter in the worst way...I have 2 sisters...all girl cousins....I am very close to my Mom and I wanted to have a daughter for every reason I could think of!

But I gave in....

Short was born 9 month later.

I knew at the exact moment he was conceived.

I didn't know with the other boys.

But I knew with Short.

2 weeks after that morning...the positive pregnancy test!

I was so excited.

At 20 weeks we had the ultrasound.

"Do you want to know the sex?"...the tech asked us.

"Yes, but put it in an envelope...we may or may not look at it"...

That's like being handed a wrapped present and never opening it!

The envelope sat on our kitchen table.

And it sat.

For about 4 hours.

I couldn't stand it any longer.

We sat together on the couch.

I told Joe to open it.

I couldn't look.

He opened it...I heard him chuckle.

Is he laughing because its another boy...or laughing because we are finally having a girl??

I feel the image brush again my arm as Joe nudges it to me.

I slowly look over at it.

I cried..and cried and cried.

I must have starred at that ultrasound picture 100 times...thinking maybe they were wrong...maybe that was the umbilical cord!

I thought that I'd never have that Mother/Daughter experience and it made me so sad.

I was sad for days.

And then it passed...I realized that God gave me boys for a reason...everyone is given what they are given for a reason. A mother of sons is what he wanted me to be...how lucky could I be? My sons could still go shopping with me....they could bake cookies with me....they could do everything a girl could do......and to think that I was sad...sad about the sex of our baby? Who does that? Look at all those that can't have children or have trouble conceiving and here I was sad that I was having another boy? I felt ashamed that I felt this way. I quickly wiped the tears away and eagerly awaited the birth of my 4th son. What a lucky girl I am and I didn't realize it. My boys have given me everything I've always wanted..and more.