Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wedding Dilhemma #3

As you know Venti and Mocha are getting married in October. Only 3 months away! I know its tradition for the Mother of the Groom to wait for till the Mother of the Bride gets her dress but she has yet to get it...or even look for it! I asked Mocha what I should do because I didn't want to wait until the last minute to get my dress and she said not to wait for her Mom and that I should just go ahead and get one if I find one. When Mocha's sister got married last year her Mom waited until 2 weeks before and picked her dress off the sale rack. Nothing wrong with that but I'm the type that I want to have my dress picked out, altered, hung up and ready to wear a month before!!

Mocha's bridesmaids are wearing Champagne colored long dresses and she wants everyone including the Mother's to wear long dresses.  I have been searching online and went to several bridal stores including the large dress shop that Mocha purchased both her dress and the bridesmaids dresses and asked to look at Mother dresses. Well let me just tell you that the Mother dresses look like Mother dresses! These dresses do not fit my personality and I could not find one dress in the Mother dresses that I liked! They look more like Grandmother dresses!!

The sales associate at all the stores suggested that I look at prom dresses because I'm a young Mom for a Mother of the Groom!

Since the bridesmaids are in Champagne Mocha said any greens, blues and browns would look good.

So I find this dress...

The color is Aqua...but it is iridescent and it looks brown in certain lights. I don't really see any Aqua in it except for the Aqua rinestones. To me it looks more tan.

So I thought I would ask your opinion on this dress because I have been searching and searching and this is the only one that I remotely liked. It has a train on it but if I get it I'm going to have it altered and have the train cut off so that its just a normal long dress.

So what do you think??  I need your opinions!!


  1. It's a beautiful dress but....for a wedding? I don't know. Now remember I live in the sticks where a formal gown just isn't that formal. A mother of the groom isn't suppose to out-shine the bride or mother of the bride and this dress just might do that. Remember you asked. It is beautiful though, very beautiful. I'm going to love reading other comments. I bet they are different as night and day depending on where people live and who they are. You are so beautiful Java that this dress would make you just glow. So hard to know. Wishy washy, I'd say yes that's me.
    I tried to leave comments on your 4th post but for some reason it just wouldn't let me so here...
    I love your dad's picture. The pool looks so nice and inviting. Your family is awesome. Thank you for sharing them. Oh and I'm so sorry you got hurt at the end of a perfect day. I hope you're healing fast.
    Take care and have a blessed day.

  2. It's a beautiful formal gown, I love how the detail at the waist creates a universally flattering look and the combination of tan and turquoise!

  3. It is a beautiful dress, but I'm wondering if it's too much for mother of the groom too. All that stuff on the back. I agree, don't get the typical "mother of the groom" dress, I've seen those and they are so matronly. Maybe a more simple bridesmaid type dress? Love the color!

  4. The front of the dress is lovely & would be nice for an evening wedding with a sheer wrap around your shoulders. The ruffle in the back looks a tad *dare I say it* prom-ish...
    and I think Julie has a point about possibly outshining the bridal party (do you know what the bridal gown or bridesmaids dresses look like? - I'd take their lead). You're going to rock whatever dress you wear!

  5. hmmmmmmmmmm...if you want a guys opinion...I am sure you would look fab in that dress..if you wore it and I was at the wedding it definitely would attract my attention ....but...and this is a big....but...that is the would attract everyone else's attention too. I don't think it would fit the mom of the groom dress definition....beautiful, elegant, but does not stand out.

  6. Too sexy and might outshine the bride.
    Java, for one split moment, I imagined you wearing a Chinese qipao (or a long dress) - you look very pretty in my imagination. If you are free, look at this few links to see what I mean:

    Just a suggestion :)

    ( I'm a full-time mummy )

  7. The dress is nice. Not to keen on the color. You have elegance and charm and this dress does not do you justice.

  8. Over all it is pretty. I don't like the back of it though. I think it is too much. Good luck.

  9. The dress is beautiful, however, I think it is a little too much cleaveage and also the back is too much. As Mother of the bride or groom 7 times, soon to be eight, I know your angst.

  10. I think you will steal all the attention now matter what you wear. You are gorgeous!

  11. OMG I love the dress Java! I don't know anything about how formal the wedding is, etc., so I don't know how you would fit it with the rest of the group. If you look great in it, go for it, I say. Just because you're the Mother, does that mean you have to look "frumpy"?

  12. The gown is beautiful. If the time of the wedding is in the evening, the gown may work. I do think that there may be a possibility that you will outshine the bride.

  13. Wow! Hard to weigh in on this subject because first of all, we have no idea what it looks like on YOU and that changes a dress dramatically. So if you like the way it looks on you and it makes you feel great - then go for it!

    But just looking at it on the model, it looks like it might be kind of too close in colour to the "champagne" colour that the bridesmaids will be wearing. And I have a hard time imagining the colour on you. Just going from your pics, it's hard to imagine the dress on you, but I wonder if that colour will wash you out a bit.

    Wonder about something like this?

    I think the colour would look stunning on you - complimenting the wedding colours but without it looking at all like you're trying to go for a champagne colour like the bridesmaids will be wearing.

  14. You are beautiful and the dress is amazing, the train is too much. Yep, agree with others comments, you don't want all the attention, especially taking away from the bride.

    Idea, could you maybe have the dress altered where it comes just above your knees?

  15. I saw that some of the other commenters left links. I hope that you found something on one of them. I think that dress is so pretty and you are so pretty that you will outshine the bride in it. If you like the dress, buy it. It would be lovely on you at a party. Maybe New Years? I would ditch the train, though, simply because it is a bit much. Keep looking. You will find the perfect dress!!!

  16. Hi Java, you are an absolutely stunning woman and I think you would look pretty amazing in this dress. But I have to agree with the other commenters, this is too much of a dress for the MOTG and you risk upsetting the bride in this as all eyes would be on you. I would look for something less like a ball gown that is not quite so bridal or bridesmaid like in appearance and material.

  17. hi. new here but love your blog!
    i agree with the other commenters - you don't want to steal the bride's thunder.

    have you looked at J Crew Bridal?

  18. I know the other commentors are saying you shouldn't "outshine" the bride...but tell the truth now. Have any of us ever been to a wedding where anyone could outshine a happy bride? I'm just saying...

  19. Beautiful dress, but I agree with some of the others it might be too much. Why not bring the Bride to be shopping with you shopping? Have her pick out a few dresse she likes so you can at least get an idea of what style she thinks you should be wearing!

  20. Jave, Like everyone else, I have to agree. It is a gorgeous dress but you will outshine and that would not be a good thing this time. ;)
    Sorry but I think you have to keep looking.

  21. Humm....well, I had no idea there was protocol in place for when the Mother of the Groom could purchase her apparel.

    Anywho....I think the dress you have posted is absolutely stunning....that said; maybe a bit much for a wedding?

    I could totally see you in something soft and flowy, simple elegance, in a soft color that will accent your features beautifully and compliment the bride/groom's color choices.

  22. What color are the flowers for the wedding? My mom got a long prom dress for my wedding that went with the flowers, not the bridesmaid dresses. All my bridesmaids were in champagne and my mom was in dark purple. She looked really good and stood out in a good way.

  23. How stunnig is this!!!! Its gorgeous Sweetie!!!
    Blessings and Hugs Dena
    BTW,,,I'll be here for the friday follow soon like I asked about last week..

  24. Yeah, I hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but coming from the wedding industry, I have to agree with some of the other ladies. It's a little too much for a MOG dress. I've honestly only seen a dress at a wedding that low cut on a bride, and as soon as she saw herself in the pictures she totally regretted it. (They had eloped from Boston to San Francisco. The only people there was the couple and me.) She just felt like it was too much and that was the bride talking. It is a totally gorgeous dress but it's a little too young (for ME and I don't meet the age minimum for your follow fridays!) and it's a bit of a show stopper.

    Something you CAN do for guidance, because ultimately this is your decision, and has nothing to do with us, and you know Venti and Mocha best and you know what you'd be comfortable with and in... is the send Mocha the dress and ask her if it's too much, or to ask her if she has seen any on any websites that she liked and would recommend to you.

    Rule of thumb: If you have to ask if the dress is appropriate, it probably isn't.

    There was something else I was going to say, but I can't remember, but it was a good idea! Rats!

  25. I LOVE IT, and think it is totally fine if you get rid of the train, and do a bit of altering to the back. Any 'long dress' looks too formal, does it have to be champagne in color? I would go with something totally aqua, because champagne washes people out... just my two cents though!

  26. I started to read all of the other comments, but wanted to give you my own opinion without thinking of what others said. As a seamstress for over 15 years, I think the most important aspect of what to wear to a formal event is: wear what you feel comfortable with. The dress is awesome, love the color combo, the beading, the ruched part in front, its a beautiful dress. Let you seamstress take away the parts you don't like, and you will be left with a dress that you love! Hope this helps:)

  27. Hi Java, My son's wedding is Oct. also and I am so anxious to dress shop, but the MOB says she hasn't shopped yet. She also said that it's possible the Bride may want us to closely match the bridesmaids?? That's unusual isn't it?
    They are wearing black with purple ribbons. Anyway love the dress and if it is your normal "look" then go for it. The MOG dresses I have seen online are awful!


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