So last night I was picking up a couple of pairs of his shorts when one of them "crinkled"......
Yes...crinkled....
I reached inside the one pocket....
And I found this....
I almost fell over! He has had a girlfriend for a couple of months but there is no way my 17 year old son would need a condom!! 17 year olds don't have sex...do they???
Then I started thinking that maybe he was using it for other purposes and I came up with 20 possible suggestions:
1. Hair tie
2. Slip 'er over a payphone to avoid "NASTY" germs
3. Bathing cap (if you stretch it in the right manner)
4. Neat travel case for your toothbrush
5. An emergency air-sickness bag
6. Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not drinking it.
7. Travel size shampoo and conditioner holders
8. A turkey baster
9. Keep your hot dog juicy in the microwave
10. Latex toe warmers
11. Stuff, and use to stop drafts under doors
12. Fill with rocks and use to as a weapon in a crisis situation
13. Makeshift sandbags in the event of a flood
14. To keep candles dry when camping
15. Build your own incredible "Water Weenies"
16. Golf club cozy
17. A way to save that half-eaten banana
18. Change purse
19. Cake frosting dispenser
20. For those long car trips that dad hates to stop for potty breaks
Yes...one of those has to be the reason that wrapper was in his pocket!!
But then my curiosity got the best of me and I went investigating in his room.
It didn't take me but 5 minutes.
And then I found these:
Why were they all opened and put back in their package??
Well I was going to find out!!
So being the Mom that I am, I decided to lay the Fire and Ice wrapper on my bed beside Ozzie (cat)....I waited until Tall was walking by my room and said, "Awww come see Ozzie"....so Tall comes in and pets Ozzie and I said, "look at Ozzie.....really look at Ozzie"....well his eyes finally focus on the wrapper and I think I actually saw beads of sweat pop out of his forehead.
Tall: "Ummmm ohhhh"
Me: What is that for? Are you having sex??
Tall: We only did it twice!
Me: Twice?? Where??
Tall: Once here and once at her house!
Me: Here? Where?
Tall: In the basement!
Me: In the basement? What if someone came down? Like Short!
Tall: Ummmm I don't know!
Me: Ugh! Well I do appreciate you using birth control but a condom doesn't mean she won't get pregnant and your too young to have sex! Is she on birth control?
Tall: No...her Mom won't let her!
Me: Omg...yeah she won't let her because you two shouldn't be having sex!!
Tall: I'm actually glad you found it because I wanted you to know!
Me: Well then you should have told me! I'd rather you tell me then to find them!
Tall: Sorry!
Me: So why was there so many and why were they put back in their wrappers?
Tall: Ummmm well I was practicing!
Me: Omg...what kind of response do I say to that??
Tall: Well I didn't want to look like I didn't know how to use them, so I was practicing!
Me: Has she had sex before? Because I know you haven't!
Tall: She had sex with 2 other guys and no I haven't had sex before!
Me: 2 other guys! Slut!! (I didn't say that but I wanted to)....omg....
Tall: Its fine Mother....its not like we do it all the time!
Me: Well now you might not be but 2 times turns into more time and more times.....
Tall: I'm so glad we had this talk!
Me: I'm not...I'm freaked out!
Tall: Can I throw those away now? I didn't want you to find them in the trash.
Me: Oh so you'd rather me find them buried in your closet?
Tall: Oh like you wouldn't have freaked out if you found them in the trash?
Me: Of course I would but I wish you would have just talked to me...I thought you knew that!
Tall: Well I wasn't sure...now I know...thanks Mother!
Me: Mother? What happened to Mom??
Out the door he went. Happy as can be.
Me? I'm left trying to process what just happened.
Give me strength! And suggestions...what do you do? You can't prevent your kids from having sex! Or can you....
