Truly Humbled....

When I started blogging it was because I love to write and express myself...plus I thought someone somewhere might actually enjoy reading about all of my adventures.  Never did I think that this blog would connect me with people that are genuinely concerned about my well being and that would honestly and truly make a difference in my life.  From being there for me when I messed up Venti's HAIRCUT 2 days before he got married....or when I mistakenly CUT my dress for the Wedding.  All of your kind and encouraging comments about my Dad mean so much to me!  I read every single one and reading each one has lessened my guilt that I was feeling thinking that I was the one that was responsible for him falling.
I do believe that it was God's plan that I stopped to say hi so that I was there to help him when he fell.  I did not know the dog was going to run so therefore it was not my fault.  It was a horrible thing to watch and I still can't get the image out of my head but I have learned to not have that sinking feeling of guilt when I think about him.

He is still in the hospital.  It has been a week and a day and he hasn't really improved much.  He is having double vision, he get confused about things, he can't speak a whole sentence and he has no appetite and is hardly eating anything.  We are doubting the care he is receiving (or lack of) and I am calling tomorrow to speak to the Social Worker about it.  He was on Morphine every 2 hours for the pain in his head but that didn't touch it.  Now they have him on Dilata which is a narcotic too and as soon as they give it to him, he is knocked out which is somewhat good because then he can rest but I'm not sure if that is good for him or not.  They did another Cat Scan this morning and we didn't hear what the results were yet.  Every day we are hoping and praying that he will be better.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers!

On a positive note, my Mom who had broken her leg (or so we thought) went today to have her cast redone because a doctor in the hospital just happened to look at it when he came in to see my Dad and told her that her cast wasn't on right (it was put on by her Podiatrist because he is a friend of hers!).....so she went to an Orthopedic Surgeon today and he took the cast off and said that it was the worse cast he has ever seen and was even going to save it to show as an example of a "bad" cast....they did an x-ray and here it isn't even broken!!  She left cast free and is able to drive which is wonderful because now she can take herself back and forth to the hospital which she is so happy about because she feels like she is an inconvenience (even though she isn't!)....my Dad actually smiled when she told him that they took the cast off!!

Thank you again for being such wonderful friends.  Hugging you all!!!


My Dad and Mom at Venti's Wedding

My Poor Dad.....

My parents live beside us and their house sits on top of a hill.  On Wednesday I was coming home from work and he was standing on the top of his yard with my sister's 9 month old Weimaraner dog (who is out of control and doesn't listen and they are watching him while she went on vacation).....so I put the window down to say hi and to ask how my Mom is because she broke her leg and had just gotten the cast on 2 hrs prior....he said she was good and that she got a green cast and then all of a sudden the dog started running down the steep hill....my Dad wouldn't let go of the dog so he ran with him down the hill (very fast) and ran all the way to the street where he then tripped on the curb and smacked down into the street face first. I watched the whole thing in horror and couldn't do anything to stop it. He was knocked out for 10 minutes...the ambulance came and took him to the hospital and I rode along.
He has a bleed in his brain, a hematoma on the right side and his shoulder separated from the leash pulling him. He is still in the ICU and not doing very good. Plus he has 14 stents in his heart which is worrisome....I feel like its my fault that it happened because I stopped to talk to him. Plus my Mom is in a wheelchair because she broke her fibula bone so the cast is full leg.

My Mom called my sister who was on vacation and they drove straight home from Florida and got home at 4am to pick the dog up.

None of us wanted my parents to watch the dog because he is really hard to control but my sister said she couldn't find anyone else to watch him.  The dog is so bad that my nephews have to "sit" with him during the day while she is at work to make sure that the dog doesn't do anything bad in the house.

Everyone says that its not my fault but I can't help but think that it is.  If I would have just went home and not stopped to say hi then maybe the dog wouldn't have did that and he wouldn't have fallen.

I can't get the image of him falling out of my head and I feel terrible for putting him in the hospital. I am really sad and depressed that I did this to my poor Dad.

Poor poor deer.....

I had a day off on Tuesday!  At the company I work for if you work the day before a holiday, then you get to take another day off in the same pay period so I worked New Year's Eve and so I decided to take Tuesday off because Joe has off and we could spend the day together!

I woke up at my regular time on Tuesday because I still had to get Short ready for school.  After he got on the bus I did some blog reading until Joe got up.  We then headed out for breakfast at our favorite diner/restaurant where I ordered the pancakes I have been craving!  I ate every bite...and was even done before Joe!!

After that Joe dropped me off at Salvation Army (I LOVE to look there...I always find the best things) while he went to the gym.  I managed to find $45.00 worth of things and had a whole bag to show for it!  I got 3 pairs of jeans...one was from Banana Republic that look like they were never worn for $5.99 which is a bargain compared to the normal price of $89.50!!  I also got a pair from Ann Taylor Loft for $4.99 and another pair for $3.99!  I got Short a Spyder fleece jacket for $4.99 that I was eying up on Backcounty.com for $70.00!  I got an Under Armour jacket for $3.99, a pair of Aeropostale plaid sleep pants for $2.99, Adidas sweatpants for Tall for $3.99, American Eagle plaid sleep pants for Grande for $2.99 and a couple of pairs of shorts and some t-shirts!

Then we went next door and found carpet for our bedroom, the stairs, hallway and the boys rooms.  They are coming today to measure.  New carpet always makes everything seem new in the house!  We are getting a beige color throughout and it will look so much nicer in a neutral color!

We then went home and I took all the tags off the clothes and through them in the washer with a little extra detergent!  By then it was 1:30pm and my pancakes were wearing off and I was getting hungry so we decided to head to our favorite lunch place!  We both ordered the chopped salad with chicken and balsamic dressing and a large wheat pizza.  This place has the BEST salad and pizza I have ever eaten!  An hour later and not a crumb to be found!  I was so full but it was so good!  We would not be eating dinner that night!

We headed home but didn't quite want to end the day just yet so we decided to drive around and look at houses...something we love to do!  We went through this neighborhood near the restaurant that we had never seen before and saw some gorgeous houses!  We then headed in the direction of home and thought we would ride through the neighborhood we both grew up in which is only about 5 minutes from our house.

By then it was around 3:30pm and said we should head home as the boys would be getting home soon.  We were about 2 minutes from our house when I was going down a pretty steep hill (I was driving)....we were talking about the carpet and Joe must have been looking at me cause he didn't see it....but I did....right over Joe's shoulder....at the bottom of the hill...I saw a deer leap out of the woods and right into our car!  I screamed and all I heard was a bump...bump....."omg...I hit him" (although I think it was a doe)....and I looked into my rearview mirror and saw the deer roll and then got up an ran.....Joe said, "I didn't even see it"....but then he saw it in the mirror too.....I started crying and Joe's all worried about the car having damage which was the last thing on my mind!  He said for me to pull into a parking lot at the top of the hill.  I pulled in and put my hands up to my face and started bawling.  Joe got out to look at the damage and walks around several times and gets back into the car.   "I can't believe it"...he says....."there's not a scratch!"

I was sobbing sitting there thinking about the poor deer and if he was hurt.  Joe suggested we go back and look which made me cry even harder.  I couldn't go look!  What if she was laying there....alive...and hurt!!  I couldn't do it!  Joe said for me to stay there and he would walk back and look himself.

I watched Joe get smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror....the smaller he got the sadder I got thinking about what he was going to find.  Joe eventually disappeared out of the mirror and so I no longer had the comfort of seeing him.  I sat there feeling so sad for that deer and I looked down and watched the tears make a wet mark on jeans thinking how happy the day was and how quickly it can turn unhappy.

What seemed like hours and was probably only 5 - 10 minutes, I could finally see Joe appear again in the mirror.  His head hung low and and my tears got bigger......

He got in the car and sat there for a couple of minutes....

"I don't see him Java....I looked everywhere...."

"Did you look into the woods?"

"Yep"

"On both sides...cause she could have run into either side?"

"I did Java....nothing...I don't see anything...I walked all over"

He tried to cheer my up and said that I should be thankful that there was nothing wrong with the car AND the deer wasn't lying down there. 

But I couldn't.....

I thought about it all night.  Thinking the deer was hurt.  Lying in the woods in pain.  I felt so awful.

Then I thought maybe Joe did see the deer lying down there and he just didn't tell me.....I asked him...sure did....and he swears he didn't see it anywhere....

I can't get it out of my mind.  People hit deer everyday...some even deliberately and don't think twice about it.  But its me...the one who takes bugs out of the house instead of killing them......the one who would rather wreck the car and avoid hitting an animal.....

Oh poor, poor deer....I am so sorry and I hope you are ok.....